Feet and Shoes

Feet. No, I don't have any fetishes. But today I want to talk about the feet culture cause I am telling you - there is a lot to say. 

All the creeps out there - please leave now. I'm uncomfortable. ....But it is an all-inclusive culture after all and I can't discriminate and hate and blah blah blah so I guess you can stay. 'Merica.

So feet. Do you take your shoes off when you get home? Do you put your feet on the table while still wearing the shoes? Do you sit on your bed with your shoes on? If you are in my house and you are doing that - inside my head I am done with you. With a chair. On your head. And here is why: SHOES ARE DIRTY AND CARRY BACTERIAS AND NASTY AND EWWWWWWW don't. Don't. 

There isn't an option to enter a Ukrainian house and not take your shoes off. Unless you are a celebrity or the plumbers. They hate taking their shoes off. And ask my mother - she hates the days something breaks in her house ONLY because of that. True story. 

I don't know if this is a culture of materialists or culture of long passed years of the Soviet Union.. But if you are in Ukraine and you placed your feet (and your shoes) on someone's table - you are out. Done. Finita la comedia. Lights out- the show is over. You feel me? Yeah. 

And don't even get me started on your shoes on the bed... I sleep here! My body parts are now suppose to roll around in bacteria that was stuck to the sole of your shoe after you stepped in some dog's saliva and didn't even notice. Why do you want me to die? Why? 

In all fairness: we do walk a whole lot more than Americans. And the percentage of the people with TB is a ton higher. But don't you respect the sacredness that is your home? 

So here you are. Next time you are in my house- think about this. I won't say anything to you.. But I will stare at you.. And you will remember this.. But it is going to be too late... 

Happy Halloween, everyone! 

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